Get it Girl!

another workout down. Woohoo! I forced myself to follow through. Yes i know it will get easier. I know from experience. However it doesn’t change the fact that currently working out does not come naturally or easily. As a reminder i am still fat and indeed out of shape. Fat people do not like bouncing their fat around while sweating lol it is the truth. Sad but true. I actually sat my fat ass down and got online to do nothing but FB while i chatted on the phone. It was while on FB that a beautiful friend of mine posted an inspirational photo and saying. Ugh i love and hate when she does that! lol it said Commitment: You are either in or out, there is no in between …. It hit home for sure. Why give up? I missed my workout yesterday because i was just plan lazy. It can be easy to say “what is one day missed?” “it won’t make a difference” I have to remind myself that it is the same as not being able to smoke just one ciggy. It doesn’t work that way and i would be fooling myself  if i believed that. I want to stick this out and work through the pain, sweat, and lazies. I am still on week one of Jillian Michaels ripped in 30. The link is on past posts.


looking for the M word…

Motivation can seem unreachable at times. Today seemed like one of those days. But I pulled my ass off the couch and worked out. I did sit and watch the Sex and the City movie. Geeze that movie makes me cry, the show did too lol. My kids went back to school today. It was odd being in an empty home, curled up on the couch with hot tea, the cat and complete control of the remote. I am of course glad i did not give in to my nap craving. I did not sleep well last night at all. Maybe tonight will be better 🙂 What do you do for motivation? I will tell you what i did today, i picked up my phone and i snapped a pic of me on the couch! no joke, lol that got me up really fast. I try and think of how great i feel after working out, i think of my hunny being able to loosely wrap his arms around my waist. Or holy shit feeling light enough to allow him to pick me up. I can’t wait to buy clothes that fit and don’t just cover me. I hate the old desks on campus designed many many years ago that i have been squeezing into. Confession: i arrive early to classes to grab the fat kid desk before anyone is there. Sad i know but that is the truth. A year from now i hope to be feeling so much better. One thing i have really worked to avoid is guilt. I have suffered from enough guilt my entire life! I am leaving the guilt behind me. At least trying to. 


So i wrote this whole dang post and some how deleted it! grrrrr

Anyhoo, i went back to week one of the JM 30 ripped. I will master it before moving on. 


what was i thinking?! So today I decided to go on to week 2 of the Jillian Michael’s shred. yeah… now the basis of this shred is it is a 30 day program, a new workout every week. pfthth right. I believe this maybe for chics that are already freakin built. Cause let me tell you, if ya got any body fat or boobs, it is not easy.  I of course have plenty of both. Now don’t get me wrong I did not quit. I may have looked like a walrus trying to be a mermaid but damn it! I kept going. I will say week 2 contains a lot of plank related exercises. Planks are the damn devil. They are hard and apparently exist in many forms. I assumed my walrus position and did my best. My core feels very worked out right now. At this point trying is the only option! Here is my insane way of thinking. I have access to an amazing state of the art gym at school. Every semester I have said i would use it, which i do for a brief time. then i stop. Well I had the bright idea that if i signed up for an actual credit giving class, my nerd heart would not let me give up. I am 35 years old! most of my class mates are around 19. :/ which means the cardio/weight class i will be starting in a few weeks will be with these kids. Kill me now. I have almost unenrolled a few times now over summer. ugh!!!! I can’t give up, I also decided to start working out over summer to help myself out by time class starts. What was I thinking!? lol! The best gift i have embraced this 35th year of my life is the ability to not give a fuck! lol true story! eh, dinner dishes can be done in morn cause idgaf! semi home cooked meal for the fam?! hell yeah! idgaf! they will survive! We are so hard on ourselves. Be the best mom, daughter, wife, gf, sister, employee, student, yada yada! pfthth! IDGAF!!!!! embrace it people!!! I am fat and out of shape, i will be huffing and puffing around those kids but idgaf. When i exert any energy what so ever,it is ugly! red face, frizzy hair, sweaty everywhere ugly but idgaf. It is what it is and it boils down to what I can live with 😀

link to the 2nd week of the shred. good luck and don’t stop, no matter what! 

be your own mermaid!!!